She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize