Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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