Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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