I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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