it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
