It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
