So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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