Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Who wears a wallet chain?!
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Randomize
