giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
