"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Randomize
