It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize
