Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
