suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
