you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
