Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
