I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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