good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
