sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize