i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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