I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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