My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
