PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
