Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
