someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
