She's JV to your varsity
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
