Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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