I'm really into asian looking animals
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
