grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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