We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
