wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
