Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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