shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
