i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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