wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize