this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
