You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
