just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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