My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
