they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize