idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
