i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
