I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Come share oat with me in your robe
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
