i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize