you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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