my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I FOUND THE LEGS
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
