Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
