i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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