What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
operation harelip BJ is a go
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
