I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
organizing the empties. That sober.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
