VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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