i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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