He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize