Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
