I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
