I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Randomize
