he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
how does that bad decision feel?
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