I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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