where am i from again
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
