the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
