Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
